There Was Such A Thing (TWSAT)

WWF, the World Wrestling Federation’s impact on the collective psyche of 1990’s youth in India can be a great PhD thesis. Such was its impact amongst teenagers in urban and semi-urban areas that even their parents had to take notice, rather give notice : ‘this is not real, it’s fake, don’t try this with friends’. The cultural impact of essentially a foreign product is astonishing, we localized it, we wove tales around it.  Everyone had a unique story of a WWF match that only they had seen and no one else had!

WWF influenced almost everything, from postponing play time when wrestle mania featured on TV, to hordes of youth rushing to gym to sculpt their body in the image of their favorite WWF superstar. It also affected mundane things like: Choice of daily bread.

YES! Daily Bread.

In this glorious decade, Sliced bread with tea, dipped in tea, or more appropriately bread bathed in tea,, was the go-to diet. ‘Chaha Bread’ (tea-bread) a quick fix snack for the morning rush to school, a high carb boost after returning from school before rushing to play. Basically, Rush-food, tea as it is a favorite drink in Pune, and the companion bread provides kind carbohydrates.

Even though sliced bread was extremely popular, awareness about the bread was relatively low. So much so, that someone could get away advertising Potassium Bromate as an USP of the bread, fads like brown bread/ multi-grain bread yet to hit the shores. The days were of simple, super white bread and fighting over who gets the burnt brownish slice on top of the slice stack.

Our neighborhood store had three choices of bread, ‘Modern Bread’, ‘Owen Fresh’ and ‘Kwality’. Modern bread was packaged in a buttery brownish paper, slice size was extra large, typically seen nowadays in Cheese grilled sandwiches. Owen Fresh came in medium sized slices and a clear plastic packaging.  Kwality was considered premium as it had tutti-frutti embedded in a relatively small slice size.

Of the three on offer, the go to choice for teenagers and sub-teenagers in Pune was the Owen Fresh bread, not because of texture or taste, but because a 3cm x 6cm sticker of a WWF superstar was offered as a freebie in the packet. Each sticker was numbered, no one knew exactly how many were part of the series, but since the highest I number that I ever got was 95, I presume a hundred of them existed. With a consumption pattern of roughly two to three packets of bread a week, we collected a lot of these stickers. Some got repeated, like at one point I had fourteen pieces of Owen Hart. The raging conspiracy theory in my circles was that since Owen Hart carried the name of the brand Owen Fresh, the powers that be were circulating him a lot to popularize the brand.

The surplus stickers naturally led to an exchange market. Owen Hart was listed on the market and enjoyed quite a bit of traction, however a day came when he was not finding any takers. The fundamental economic wisdom dawned on me, surplus supply devalues a product (another PhD thesis!) Rarity creates value and Owen Hart was not rare enough apparently everyone had him.

At  this stage new fables popped up around those stickers which were not listed on the exchange, like the enigma around the number 2 sticker of British Bulldog. It was so rare that no one in my class had it, yet everyone could describe the mythical sticker in great detail. British Bulldog the WWF superstar, bare chested, wearing white track pants, with a real bulldog on a leash near his left leg and the British Union Jack like superman’s cape on him. Truth be told, I never have seen him wrestle in the WWF arena, however his presence in the Owen Fresh series, meant that I could not harbor any doubts about his pedigree as a WWF superstar.

The air was buzz with tales around obtaining this Unicorn of a sticker. Apparently, my friend’s friend’s neighbor got one when he picked up the packet at 7am directly out of the tempo delivering bread to the store. Soon enough, the young crowd flocked the road around the store during the morning hours waiting to pounce upon the Owen Fresh tempo. Legend has it quite a few were successful, though I did not meet anyone who lived to tell the tale, neither was I successful in the endeavor. However, I guess this is how Urban Legends are built (another PhD thesis!)

Looking back now, just how silly was the whole thing. Ultimately what were they, pieces of paper. I am not sure they even could stick to a surface, they had so much value as pseudo currency that I wonder if anyone peeled and stuck one anywhere. They got collected and hence became a collectible.

A few months later I graduated to SSC tenth grade, a big deal if you are living in India. By some stroke of parental wisdom I ended up attending a coaching class 5km from my house. I lived 1.4km from my school, this sudden spike of 10km cycling in my daily routine meant extreme tiredness and I used to hit the bed and sleep off. The effects carried into the next day with a slight doze during lunch, with an extended nap time into the post lunch lectures. Overall my study time reduced instead of increasing after joining the coaching class! (PhD)

Anyways, traveling 5km meant that I traveled into a different zone of Pune (Yes! Pune was so vast in the 1990’s that traveling 5km changed your city zone) In my class, the mix had several local students and some like me, cycle-walah’s, who needed to cycle their way to class. We all formed a group to cycle our way to class. Cycling is such an arduous task, I just wanted tenth grade to be over so that it ended all that cycling. When I first heard about the Tour de France, my only reaction was, WHY! why cycle? why cycle so much? why cycle for weeks? However, upon reflection I understood why it had to be a team race, because you need a marker to hold up your spirits while cycling. I just could relate to whole idea of ‘Just another ten minutes bro’. Otherwise, the concept is just so stupid, it’s a team race but not a relay race. Its not like one runner will run 400m and then hand the baton to another teammate. Here, all cyclist in the same team run the same race, the same distance, same route. A lesser mind would think, why is there even a team, as the eventual winner is an individual racer. However, I related to the concept. Similarly I grasped Formula One easily, two drivers, same team, same race, same distance.

Just to be clear, a small clarification: I still don’t understand why they race, I just understand why they race as a team for cycling. And with regards to Formula One, who cares, as long as the engine is doing all the work.

Anyways, digressing back to our main story. The diverse group at the coaching class got connected over the same WWF Owen Fresh Stickers and same Owen Hart sticker. The locals also had a raging conspiracy theory about Owen Hart, the buzz was that since Owen Hart carries the name of the brand Owen Fresh, just to keep up the status of their brand the powers that be want to develop a myth around Owen Hart and hence they are keeping him rare by releasing very few stickers of him.

Within a month I exchanged all my Owen Hart’s to complete my collection till number 95 including the British Bulldog. I know by now the geeks are tempted to explore concepts of Competitive Advantage, benefits of dialog and trade, globalisation etc from my example, and I think they should explore it seriously. (another PhD thesis)

All that discussion around British Bulldog and you might be tempted to presume that the number ‘2’ on the sticker represented some kind of an hierarchical ranking of the wrestler in the WWF universe. Hence, its my duty to clear the confusion, proof of ranking cannot be based on a mere sticker in a bread packet, the sticker is too thin to carry any weight to its claims. For credibility the paper needs to be thick, cardboard thick. These authoritative pieces are  known as  ‘Trump Cards’.

WWF Cards

For those living under a pebble, here is a short introduction to Trump cards. Firstly they have nothing to do with the Donald, they are similar to playing cards. Instead of having Kings and Queens printed on the card, they carry the image of a WWF superstar along with some of his stats. The relevant stats include the all important ranking, matches played and wins. They do not stop there, they also include height and weight. And since we are including height and weight as ‘relevant’, just extend the concept we need to have bicep and chest size also.

In the game, like playing cards the Trump cards are shuffled and distributed amongst opponents. Each player then draws out a card from their respective stacks, the lead player looks at his card, and then calls out a stat. For example, bicep size 14 inches. Now, if your card has bicep size more than 14 inches, then your card trumps his card and your opponent surrenders his card to you. The objective of the game is to collect the entire deck by calling out and trumping the stats on your opponent’s card

With the rising popularity of WWF, Trump cards also gained traction. The game became such a routine that some cards just stuck in memory. Like Hulk Hogan’s number one ranking is always the winner. Similarly, Razor Ramon had max height, Yokozuna’s max weight, Shawn Michael’s matches played. Information was so ingrained that if I drew Yokozuna, I did not waste energy calling out a stat, I just showed the card to the opponent and he meekly surrendered his card.

Now we can debate, whether WWF’s popularity promoted the cards or whether the cards were pivotal in firming up the WWF’s folklore. For example, I have never seen Hulk Hogan wrestle, however his number one ranking made him legendary.

WWF matches were not part of a regular telecast, it was initially once a week, that too on a weekday, basically a school day. Hence the only time we got to see actual matches was during Summer vacations and Diwali holidays. Still everyone was in tune with the events in the WWF universe largely through a rich oral tradition. Yes, matches seen by your friend’s friend’s neighbour became part of the narration. I never saw the famous 1994 Royal Rumble match in which Yokozuna buried the Undertaker, eventually for Paul Bearer to resurrect the Undertaker from the dead. Yet, the entire sequence of the match was vivid in my memory through narrations, improvised narrations. When I got a glimpse of the match on You Tube years lated, it paled in comparison to story in my memory. The story was richer, dramatic, eventful, passionate, just “more” in all respects than the actual match!

 

Similarly, Macho Man Randy Savage’s India visit was also an event in our collective narration. Even our parents jumped on the bandwagon to add to the narration, Macho Man was asked, ‘Is WWF real?’ and guess what did he reply, ‘NO!’ . I am sure underlying all this parental attention to WWF was some news wherein a school guy had seriously injured a fellow student trying to slam him wrestling style. Later even WWF had to issue an advisory : ’Do not try this at home’

To card or not to card

In trying to cash on the popularity of WWF cards, some enthusiasts brought Cricket Trump cards into the market. With stats such as Matches, Wins, Batting and Bowling averages, top score, highest wicket haul etc. It seemed a perfect product in a cricket frenzied India, however they never took off. The answer is quite cliched, Cricket in India is not just a game, it’s religion. Here we analysed the World Cup schedule months in advance to ensure that the key matches do not clash with stupid things such as ‘exams’. We had wild celebrations on the mere news that the marquee India Pakistan Quarter Final clash in 1996 World Cup got scheduled on a Saturday (9th March), cancelling the other possibility, which was Monday, 11th March. Moments from the match are etched in memory, Jadeja literally broke the roof at the Bangalore stadium, Aamir Sohail’s bravado moment, and then the way that off stump got uprooted, it is the closest I have come to a religious experience.

Anyways, cricket is so much in our blood, that if you came across a Tendulkar  card which showed the number of centuries as 12, immediate reaction was, ‘day before yesterday Tendlya hit a century, now he has 14, this card is Bakwaas’. Don’t be mistaken that awareness was restricted to the legend of Tendulkar, my friends could tell the precise number of balls faced by Jimmy ‘PADams’ before scoring a run. The static cards were no match to the dynamic stats update in the janata.

Contrast this with WWF cards, if all cards had listed Bam Bam Bigelow as rank number 1, we still would have played without questioning, because like I said, I never saw Hulk Hogan wrestle yet I accepted he had top rank. Accuracy was not a factor, consistency was. Hence, if you came across a deck wherein Hulk Hogan was number 2, then the cards were fake (fake news to be more precise)

I understood this concept of having consistency in numbers was key to having a good card game. Ingeniously, I extended this concept to an another realm: Football Trump cards. I took an A4 sheet of paper, ruled some lines on it to create a 3 by 2 grid giving me six equal rectangles. In each rectangle I drew rows and labeled them with stats, Player name, Nationality, Matches Played, Won, Win percentage, Goals, Defensive tackles etc. I used ten A4 sheets to create sixty such rectangles and proceeded to fill them with information. I still recollect clearly that first player I labeled was Lothar Matthäus, fresh from a World Cup win for Germany, a highly popular player. I gave him the best stats, maximum goals, a win percentage in high seventies with a 100+ of matches played. Yes! I made up the numbers following a simple logic. A player from Germany, Brazil, Italy should have a high win percentage, a forward to have a goal to game ratio of above 0.75, a goal keeper with maximum goals saved etc. By the third sheet I exhausted the names of all the popular players I was aware of

Subsequently I created fictional names to complete my set. For names I extended the logic with rules like, German player names had to carry a umlaut ‘ ä ‘, French and some European names had to have accent ‘ é ‘, Italian names ended with an ‘ i ‘ etc. Once I completed the sheets, I persuaded my father to get me a Xerox of the pages, just to create a ‘printing’ effect. Even though it was still my handwriting, replacing blue pen ink with black ink from a machine felt more authentic. I pasted the Xerox version on old notebook cardboard covers and cut them to form my deck of Football cards.

We played my set of cards for the better half of the summer vacation and stopped only when progressive fainting of the Xerox print started causing confusion between a ‘6’ and a ‘0’.

Besides the numerous possible PhD thesis listed, the most intriguing mystery coming out of this narration is

‘Why did I create those Football cards’.

I don’t know what a Freudian analysis might pop up, however my simple answer is ‘to kill time’. I am a student of the SSC system of education, unlike our CBSE counterparts we never had monthly projects to submit, hell, our daily homework was rarely checked, also like the ICSE schools we had no compulsion of picking up a sport, no art, no theater camps, no debate prep, basically nothing was imposed on us. Closely examining our academic calendar and the following facts emerge, 5 days school a week, 2 weekly holidays, 60days of summer holidays, 23 days for Diwali, 10 days for Christmas, holidays every Ganpati, Eid, Pongal, Nanak Jayanti, Parsi new year. Once religious and cultural domains were covered then holidays for Jayanti’s of historical figures like Shivaji, Gandhi, Nehru, national holidays for Independence and Republic day. A conservative count results in 180 days of holidays in a year, translating into 185 school days. Take a mathematical ratio any which way, and half the time we were at home, doing ‘nothing’.

Hence Football cards are just natural, the real mystery however is, why I did not create any Hockey cards!